Walking With New Friends

Finding new people. Was invited along to a someone's walking group, thought, well why not. Could do with being a bit more sociable. Really enjoyed it. Went again.

I had met Brain a couple of times at a breathing workshop that we both went to. We had chats after and then before the sessions and he said he was inviting people he met along to go for walks. They were all pretty new to walking and as I said I was always out walking he seemed quite keen for me to come along. Not that I am a qualified walker but have been doing this for many years and know the local area pretty well. The advantages of having a dog and liking getting out exploring. Finding new places, but usually on my own. I liked the idea of walking with new people and offering some help with planning and the walk on the day was appealing. So I agreed to this and Brian seemed like a good person to get to know as well.

This is not a walking guide but a walk of discovery of new people and places. New experiences and beginnings. Of being accepted. Of know previous history but just being who you are. My daughter said something similar to me a few weeks back. She has started a new school and knew one person and wasn’t with them much. We were discussing making new friends and she said how exciting it was to meet new people to know nothing about them, or them to know nothing about her. To be able to be totally yourself and who you wanted to be. I thought, yes, this would have been the first time really that she would have been in this position. As adults, we may have been in this position many times. And also shied away from this situations, due to past experiences. To stay safe in our comfort zone, to not have to open ourselves up again to new people and new judgements.

So after our daughter to dad pep talk (not that she realised this) what else could I say, but yes to Brian’s invitation to go out to meet new people. Also I am at most ease and happiest when outside walking. Feels like a very safe space for me. I could always walk off with Pip if we were not liking the company. I’m now old enough to do this without worrying about upsetting people - not that they would be upset, but you know what I mean. And would give me a reason for doing a longer walk, not something I am good at by myself, always something else I should be doing.

Walk 1 for me, Edale and Kinder Scout. Always a good walk and Brian has planned the southern edges and Jacobs Ladder. A good classic and also a good forecast. He had said that they were a relatively inexperienced group but had good chats and were all up for about 10 miles or so. I met them in the car park and Pip made good introductions. She is always a good way in for me. Even if she is not great at standing around in car parks. Impatiently waiting for everyone to get going. She gets frustrated when it is just me, so waiting for a group is about her worse nightmare. They seem a friendly enough bunch with polite introductions and group banter. Two other newbies as well. It is good to see group dynamics and get an idea of everyone. We set off up through Edale to climb up The Nab. Weather cold but good views, clouds scuttling about overhead. Looks like there would be some good light and I was looking forward to the climb up ahead.

They are a really mixed group of people from different places and different stories to tell. Just chatting about walking and hills and experiences. How we came to be in the group and sharing a little with each other. Some group jokes and stories from previous walks and trips away. A gentle non-judgemental space to share, listen, chip in or just be. I found myself on my own at times and was happy with this. The group split going from the Nab to the top of Grindsbrook and I found myself between the two and was quite happy here. The light across this part of edge was spectacular and I was enjoying being both a part of the groups and being by myself. Me and Pip doing our thing. I realised that I felt happy with these people and felt no urge to rush or delay to be part of them. I am quite happy on my own in these places but it was also good to feel to be part of something as well.

There was no fixed agenda to talk to anyone. Just open up a conversation with whoever you find yourself walking besides. A narrowing of the path, or a climb or descent puts you next to someone else. And so the day continued in this way. Spending time with people for shared moments.

Walking in these amazing places is fabulous and walking with people who are there for the same reasons makes this extra special. I love the feeling of how my body responds to the ground, jumping over rocks, wading into bogs, clambering up little scrambles. The wind and cold air blowing on our faces, the sun lighting up the air around us. Gaps in the clouds creating the low winter light atmosphere but you have the cold to go with it. The golden, purple hue of low sun that comes and goes, but the clouds come and everything goes back to grey. A shaft of sunlight catches my eye, glinting off Grindsbrook in the valley below. Making me stop and turn to face the sunlight, closing my eyes and feeling the days energy around me.

I was at times consulted about the route and direction, asked my opinion and happy to contribute. We stopped at Crowden clough, sheltering behind some rocks from the wind. But sitting in the sun. It was fabulous, shared cake and stories. Pip hoovering up anything dropped or offered. Enjoying the day, the weather and plans for the future being discussed. More walks and a trip to Scotland to climb Ben Nevis on the cards. They seem to like me, which feels good. No real effort required, just me being me. Which is sort of what I need.

The walk back to Edale from Jacobs Ladder in the sunshine and very much less wind was a pleasant change to the windy tops. Again I dropped off the back and enjoyed my time but also being able to part of the group when I caught them up again. A pint and crisps at the pub, before all heading off our separate ways. Plans for the next walk already forming. I was asked back as were the other two other new people. We didn’t find ourselves being removed from the Whatsapp group. We had obviously passed our induction test. Brian joking that my walking experience and Pip got me along to the next one.

Walk 2 - I was asked to put on a walk. About 10 miles with a swim somewhere near the end. Redmires seemed a good place, as we were mostly Sheffield or East of Sheffield based, so that fitted the brief. At the beginning of the week the weather for Sunday was bright, cold but clear. By the time the end of the week arrived we had a few days of low cloud and mist, with temperatures just above freezing. Sunday morning it was snowing, wet snow, but sticking at Redmires. Cold and windy. Low clouds and not much enthusiasm for spending a day in the cold snow mist. Plan B. A shorter walk down to Rivelin Valley and Wyming Brook was proposed and accepted. We set off over the moor through the snow.

We discussed trees and nature energy. How everything is connected and how we need to become part of this natural world. How it is seem to be weird and not normal to want to have a connection with nature, to feel the energy in the land and trees. How we have lost this harmony with our natural environment and how good it is for us to be here, in this place, feeling the cold, the snow, but feeling alive. Enjoy the walking, the movement and our bodies responding to the hills, the valley, the trees, the mud, the steep much slopes that kept us concentrating.

Stopping for shared cakes and hot drinks whilst standing around picnic benches. Talking about everything together and with someone. Catching up on things from the last walk, plans for the future, bits of our lives we want to share, ask advice, see what people think. Non-judgemental discussion and opinions, take it or leave, no one is getting upset. Just support and understanding. Join in or step away. All is acceptable. Community is being increasingly shown to so good for us. To find our people, who compliment us and support us. To push us and allow us to find our places and maybe help us out of our comfort zone, even just for a while. To show it is possible.

So thank you to this little group of new friends for welcoming me and Pip into your group. I am looking forward to more walking adventures and sharing some of my favourite places and cakes. It all started with a chat with my daughter and then Brian further planting the seed, of listening, being open and accepting that we sometimes have to make an effort, or stop making the effort.

A friend sent me this today “There comes a beautiful point where you have to stop trying to escape yourself or improve yourself and just allow yourself.”

Seemed to fit quite nicely as well. Be open and live a little, give it a try, if you are thinking about it, you are pretty much there.